What I've learned from Clients before they've Passed Away

I have had the opportunity to connect to some dear, dear souls in the last few years of their lives. As an Emotion Code and Body Code Practitioner, it's such a gift to connect with clients heart-to-heart and see the transformation and self-healing that happens after our sessions. Because of these heart-to-heart connections, many of my clients also become close friends, and sometimes, angelic friends.

As I work with a variety of clients, with different goals, backgrounds, and situations, there are some patterns that I've noticed with clients who I've worked with toward the end of their lives. Regardless of age, debilitating disease, or sudden and unexpected circumstances, but there are similar things I've learned from each friend through that transitional period.

Based on our connections to our loved ones while living, those connections can stay with us even when they've passed on.

One mid-eighty year old gentleman I worked with gave me some perspective into this.

Charles was nearing the end of his life and struggling with depression regarding losing control of his body and mind. He was also incapable of processing a lifetime of emotional baggage alone, and that's where I came in to help. Although Charles had a lifetime of accomplishments, he'd spent his life with so much baggage that even from an early age he couldn't deeply connect with anyone on an emotional level. Because of this, hardly anyone knew who he truly was. When I offered to work with him, he was in desperation to get to the root of some of his emotional concerns that he consented. As I worked with him, something surprised me. I realized that most of his issues weren't the cause of his horrible life choices-- they were the result of the way he was treated at an early age. I realized that he had done the very best he could, being taught nothing about emotional connection and wellness. Weeks after working with him, Charles passed away. Within days of his passing, I felt his presence, and gratitude, and I've felt his presence here and there, as it seems he checks in to say hi. It might sound crazy to some people, but I have a gift of being able to "hear" messages at times, from people who have passed on. There have been a handful of times over the years that Charles has told me things he might tell a very close friend. It's a compliment to know that he trusts me and we still have that heart to heart connection. 

I'm deeply grateful that I made that connection with Charles before he passed on, so we'd maintain that lovely connection.

People's hearts reveal powerful truths just before passing. 

We need to retrace their last steps and think about what they were trying to teach us just before they went. What did they tell us in our last interaction?

This past year, one of my clients and best friend passed away. Ada was who I'd consider my "soul sister", and I miss her dearly. Six or so years ago, she had a run-in with leukemia, and it nearly took her life. She made a recovery, and all was well for several happy years. In those years, she did teach me some valuable lessons. Ada was my biggest cheerleader for my dreams, and she genuinely helped other people. But to her, if anything was going to take valuable time from her family, she would decline that thing. It used to annoy me, but looking back, I'm so glad she took the time to be present with her family. She lived intentionally, and I think those last few years of her life were magnificent. She spent time with her siblings, parents, grandparents, extended relatives, and most importantly, her husband and sweet little boy. She taught me some powerful lessons in the last few months of her life. First, that this life is too short to waste time doing things that don't matter. Secondly, that loving relationships are the treasures we'll carry in our hearts forever. Thirdly, that the price we pay to get to know God can be the most painful and powerful transformations we'll ever experience. 

In my last visit with Ada, I told her that I hoped that she wouldn’t have to pass through similar suffering in part to what Jesus suffered, to know Him. She responded that she might be, and if it meant she’d know Jesus Christ, she would be willing to go through it. I realized that my friend's heart was being changed to truly know her Savior, and she soon was ready to meet Him, knowing Him. She was ready. I wasn’t ready for her to go, but if anyone was ready to meet their Lord and Savior, she was. 

That has been something I've pondered on many times. It causes me to believe that God truly has a timeline for our lives, but we get to choose what we fill that timeline with. Filling our lives with lasting connections and memories can help us reflect when we go through hard times, but also allow us to have special angelic connections on the way. We can't feel our angels distinctly if we don't take the time to build memories with them.

Make the Connection Real, in order to Save the Connection

What I mean by this is that we must establish and maintain a communication that lasts beyond the "here and now". Let's first address why we need face-to-face interaction with people here and now, in a day and age where most communication is virtual. 

First off, when we communicate in person, we are able to feel so many more emotions, and can't hide behind our issues. This is called being real. In today's world, many people hide behind virtual walls of false protection, that leave us alone with our addictions and hidden feelings. Lasting friendships are not often made in the virtual world and don't often last in the virtual world. To become real, they must be made real in the real world.

When we choose to have in-person interaction, we see others and allow ourselves to be seen. This allows for other people to identify our needs, and to help us. It also gives us the opportunity to reach out and help someone else, which, when taken, is the source of deep satisfaction. That satisfaction and the memories we develop allow us to have memories with one another to carry us through and give us joy in hard times, and through the veil of death. As religious leader Thomas Monson said, "God gave us memories that we might have June roses in the Decembers of our lives."

Secondly, when our life is over, we will hand our legacy to our posterity and friends, and that's about it. 

One of my clients, Trisha, was such a remarkable woman. She was born with quite a bit of baggage, and accrued much more over the years because of poor lifestyle choices made by her parents. As a result, Trisha had significant mental illnesses when I met her, which made it hard for her to make and keep friendships. Sometimes she'd be more mentally present, and sometimes less present. When she was "present" with me, I could count on her remembering our conversation later. Other times, when she seemed less present, she wouldn't remember our conversations afterward. I was able to identify what her level of presence was during our encounters, and that helped our friendship grow and her emotional state improve as I worked with her. She became a true friend of mine. She came to love my children, and as she was unable to have her own, they called her Aunt Trisha. We spent many wonderful memories together. Then one morning I got a call from her, and I picked up, happy to speak with her. I was shocked that it was her husband on the other end, informing me of her passing away. I was in shock. I knew that she had mental illnesses, but this was so sudden. (They discovered it was a pharmaceutical mistake that caused it so suddenly), but still-- she was gone. Her husband asked if I'd speak at her funeral, since I was the closest friend she had, which I did to honor her. After a time of grief, I wondered if I still had that heart-to-heart connection to her that we had when she was alive. I tuned into that connection, and felt that she was "fully present". It was the first connection I'd made to her where I felt her full presence! She had been unable to be fully present until she departed this life. Since that time, there have been times when I've been shopping in a store we'd previously been to together, and I'll feel her presence with me, like a feeling of "Remember when....that was so fun." Because of the memories we made together when she was alive, and the conversations and memories we had, I'm able to feel her presence and kindness often, even though she's gone. It's like our relationship is still going on. If I'd never made that in-person contact with her when she was alive, there's no way we'd still have it now.

In reflection, sometimes I wonder how "present" I really am choosing to be in day to day life. When I'm distracted by technology, I miss important opportunities to teach my 4 year-old how to ask politely for something. Or I miss out on playing on the floor with my children, or planning a special evening with my husband. But looking back on yesterday at the time spent in those distractions, were any memories made? Did anyone feel more loved because of it? One thing that causes me to stop and get back on track is, "If [this person who's very close to me] died next week, how might they spiritually show me those reminders that they still love me?" 

If I haven't made enough memories to bring me joy for the rest of my life, then that's what my focus should be. My friend Trisha was not fully present in her life, but that was not her choice. It is my choice whether I am fully present in this life. And if I am, the joyful memories will be much more plentiful as I live, and they will still bring me joy as I pass on as I remember them with those I've cherished. 

(Client Names have been changed)